How I started and how I ended up here
Post written on 16th of November 2020, London
Since I was a little girl I was blessed enough to travel within Europe and I always knew I wouldn't stay in Romania for my entire life. Growing up as a conscientious pupil, who always had other hobbies such as dance to balance my straight As in school, one thing that I learned on my own is that hard work always pays off. That universe had a way of giving back my effort and wishful thinking.
When starting high school, I met a boy who was very passionate about walking around the city and taking snapshots. At first, I was very drawn to spending time knowing more about him and what he was doing and I thought that I fell in love with him. After a month or so, I discovered that actually, I fell in love with what he was doing and the idea that I could understand the physics behind it and create pure stunning imagery stuck with me ever since. I remember being in 10th grade and juggling school, English, French, and Math after lessons, dance rehearsals, and photography classes. I was so determined to finish high school with a bag of knowledge to jump start my photography career. While in high school, I took a lot of self-portraits, photographed all of my friends including my dance friends and I quickly discovered that I love to be able to capture one's beauty from the inside out.
My parents always supported my passions but always pushed me even further. In my last year of high school, I wanted to apply to university here in London, but I felt that I was too small and knew very little of my actual potential photography career in Bucharest. So I decided to stay and try my best to succeed in an environment that I discovered later on could help me up to one point. So after high school, I took manners into my own hands and got as much experience and education without attending the photo university in Bucharest (which I knew was still communist and outdated in approach).
For 3 years I assisted many working photographers, did a lot of testing and photoshoots in the studio, I traveled all the way alone to the Bahamas to attend one big week of photography workshops with people I learned from online and I so admired their ethics and work (the Fstoppers Workshop 2014, took portrait lighting lessons with Michael Grecco and Mark Wallace and learned the basics of high-end retouching from Pratik Naik, also met Peter Hurley, Aaron Nace, Pye Jirsa, and many other photographers).
In 2016 I rented a small boutique-style place in the center of Bucharest on Dorobanti street that would be my playground for the next 3 years. The costs of having a studio really took a toll on me, those were the years of burn out and chronic fatigue of having to work multiple projects in a market where the best photographers were paid very little for the amount of work that they were doing. I neglected all of my personal projects, forgot how to have fun, and create outside my job, and quickly fell into a deep depression. I struggled with both the business and the creative side and felt stuck in an environment where the fashion and beauty projects demand was moderate and very poorly paid.
What truly saved me from depression was deciding to continue with perfecting myself as a photographer through mentorship. I attended Mastered - a London based mentorship 10-month project - in which I had online classes, feedback and coaching sessions, and contact with an entire community of freelancers from the fashion industry (from styling departments to art direction and photography) and those 10 months really showed me that I have a real potential of succeeding somewhere in this world. We even had a 3-day meetup in Athens and grouped to create a set of images and get feedback on the process and the final result. It was amazing to meet so many talented people from all over the world and of course, I suffered a bit when I realized that if I had lived in London all those connections would have been put to great use.
At the start of 2019, I gave up my small studio and moved to an office on the same boulevard and continued shooting my projects when needed in bigger studios rented project-based or in certain locations depending on the campaign. I worked a lot of events, too - from corporate, brand launches, concerts, music video parties. I dipped my feet a little bit into product photography and learned on the go when someone really wanted me to create their images for e-commerce.
While sharing a studio with my then-boyfriend, who was an aspiring director of photography and director, I learned a lot about the music and commercial videos that were shot in my city. What started as just being on set and taking behind the scenes snapshots, transformed into a job description of first assistant director. and up until last month, I had my calendar filled with diverse paid projects: from fashion, beauty, product, events to assisting on set, and sometimes taking BTS shots, at the same time too. When 2020 started I was very optimistic about the future since I finally had developed a proper workflow to sustain my life and career. I worked on set until mid-February and then I took a break while everyone was in lockdown until May. At the end of the lockdown, I realized that all the projects that everyone canceled due to the pandemic were to be shot during the summer, so I had 3 month of non-stop work, juggling between my photography clients and on set on music video projects which required me to better myself as a 1st AD (which was even more challenging when the artist wanted me to take their photo gallery, too).
The decision to move to London came to my mind last year while visiting London for the first time. I booked myself a plane and a concert ticket (wanted to listen to John Mayer live ever since I was 16) and spent 5 days in London. Having visited LA the same year, I had a feeling that London was the "Los Angeles of Europe" regarding its high-level activity in the fashion, beauty, and video industry, I mean... participating in Mastered just gave me a glimpse of the whole picture.
When I arrived back home in Bucharest, my boyfriend asked me if I would move to London and I said: "Maybe I will someday, I know I gotta try at least." Fast-forwarding to early September 2020, one of the best hairstylist in Romania Alex Sarghe (who I am lucky to call him a long life friend) who just moved to London at the start of the year, told me that this is the last year I could easily apply to university and get student finance and maintenance loan (since Brexit is happening). At first, I laughed and said to him: "mm it sounds complicated, I don't know if I still manage to get in, I mean it's the beginning of September, haven't the universities closed their application?". He answered me promptly: "Baby, you still got a chance, you have to use it, you definitely belong here, you're too talented and hardworking to whither in Romania with those low-level projects!" So, I quickly made my plans and crossed my fingers that I would be accepted and that I would finish on time my already accepted projects.
For a short period of time between mid-September until 2nd of October (my birthday) I was on an emotional roller coaster (I still am, for the time being). I prepared myself for moving to London, but the acceptance letter would not come in. It was really awkward to prepare for something I didn't know exactly if it was going to happen. Wishful thinking turned into an unconditional offer on the 7th of October, so I booked a one-way ticket to London on the 18th. I worked almost every day until my departure and people's feelings were all over, so were mine. Some asked me if I was afraid to lose all my connections and clients I had in Romania, others were asking when I would return to schedule the next projects. It was a complete leap of faith that I took, not knowing if I would quickly manage to finish with all the paperwork for living in the UK and find myself some freelance jobs here. All that I know is that I wanted a change in my life, to go back to the basics and to sharpen my eye, to let myself create more and define my style in an environment that would inspire me and give me hope of working with the best teams and best projects that there could be.
Now, that I'm officially moved to London for one month (2 weeks in self-isolation and 2 weeks of adapting to the new home in a small bedroom) I can finally feel that I can breathe. Although I miss my family, my cat, and everyone at home, I feel like I made the right decision - stepping back and taking some time to reflect on my journey and how I want to further develop my career. This change has taught me a lot about myself. It gave me the lessons of patience, resilience, and self-trust and I know this is just the beginning. I sometimes feel that I'm still in an emotional rollercoaster, adapting to everything new, letting go of old patterns, recreating my workflow, and being less social than I used to be (lockdown is really slowing down the process of making new friends - I know the pandemic won't last forever).
Starting my photographic journey I dreamed of a big industrial studio (with a huge cyclorama and my 190cm parabolic modifier opened at all times) and maybe someday I will have it. But for the time being, I enjoy not paying rent and having the freedom of still exploring my passion. Hard work always pays off, I will always keep in mind this one...
